After the conversation with Dorian on the network, Huaisang heads home to meet his lover. He changes quickly into a cute, light floral sundress and whirls barefoot to open the door, pouncing Dorian with a hug and a kiss.
"Hey lover." Huaisang smiles warmly at him, drawing him into the parlor where a chilled bottle of wine and two glasses are already waiting for them.
It was hard to convey tone through text and when he's received the command to come over, Dorian does just that. He hardly lingers at the door to announce his presence when Huaisang is on him. Dorian returns the embrace and kiss and follows his host into the parlor.
His attire is relatively casual despite the extravagance he likes to decorate himself with and he's offers Huaisang a warm smile at the light, airy dress he wears. The fabric moves well with him, fluttering around his feet as he walks and giving any movement a fluid grace.
Huaisang settles Dorian on the couch and then pours for them both before sitting next to Dorian, legs hooked over Dorian's lap the way he likes to do. Kissing his cheek before starting to sip at his wine, Huaisang watches Dorian curiously. "Tell me about what you want in a relationship. Whether it's with me or someone else."
"So, that's what this is about." Dorian asks, not offended or disappointed by the curious request from his lover. Thankfully there's wine and he's successfully pinned down to the couch by Huaisang's slender legs.
He closes his eyes and hangs his head for a moment, remembering what he'd left and discovered upon arrival in Duplicity. How it crushed him. Huaisang isn't asking about his past pains or experiences, but he can't help the droop to his shoulders. This is the pain of a man who has given his all, his entire life and his love and still hasn't found acceptance from the person he craved it most from.
"I want more than just fun." That's something he can say with confidence.
Duplicity is fun, what with the allowance and encouragement of sex without discrimination, but he wants more. "I want... acceptance." That last word is said as he turns his head up to look Huaisang in the eyes.
Huaisang gently cups his lover's cheek in his hand, eyes soft and sympathetic. He leans forward to press a soft kiss to Dorian's lips, wanting to reassure him. "I love you just as you are, Altus Dorian Pavus."
His eyes glint with playfulness as he leans back, but the sympathy is still there, ready to listen to Dorian's needs and to meet as many of them as he reasonably can. "How do you define acceptance? Or acceptance for what?"
Dorian is soothed by the press of that hand and those lips against his own. He can get lost in them and even as Huaisang pulls back, the mage’s grey eyes linger on them.
“Thank you.” There’s a slight crack to his voice and he draws a sip from his glass.
“Acceptance for my sexuality and my desire to be true to myself despite traditions and ideals.” There’s a bitterness to his words even if he has calmed considerably. “I want something exclusive and that is not something I can ask of anyone or even myself in Duplicity.”
"Who needs traditions and ideals?" Huaisang jokes, wrinkling his nose. "I'm the shame of my sect because of my sexuality and my desire to be true to myself despite traditions and ideals. A true QingheNie sect leader ought to be well over six foot tall, a fearsome warrior with a massive blade, and a mighty general leading men to glorious battles." Huaisang, delicate and sparkling, smirks. "Can you imagine? I'd look like a squirrel in my big brother's armor. The enemy would laugh themselves to death."
Huaisang kisses the tip of Dorian's nose, fond and warm. "I agree that there can be no exclusivity in Duplicity. I tried it early on, because it was asked of me. It is not something I would try again for anyone."
"I wouldn't ask of that from you. It's a foolish thing to want or expect from anyone." To be special to one person. He actually can imagine Huaisang in armor, though it would be thin and nicely decorated like his own. "Mmm... you would look sexy in a little armor. Maybe some hides or a harness." As lovely as the thoughts are and the distraction they provide, Dorian hasn't drifted mentally far from the thought of shame.
"I was arranged to be married, to carry on the bloodline... and of course I couldn't go through with it." Another sip of his wine and he turns his gaze away and into the contents of his glass. "He was going to alter my mind- to change me."
"To change you?" Horror chokes Huaisang's throat. He sets aside his own cup, hugging his arms tight around Dorian's waist and clinging to him. "No. That's too awful. I would never have met you. You wouldn't be my Dorian. If anyone ever tries to change you, I will fight them. My Dorian."
"Yes, to continue the Pavus bloodline and legacy. The powerful families of Tevinter intermarry and breed to distill perfection. My father... he didn't go through with it, the part of me that loves him likes to believe he really wouldn't have." Dorian runs his fingers over Huaisang's intricate braids and gently trails the back of his fingers over a lovely cheekbone.
"Don't worry. I'm not about to let anyone try, either. I'll be me for as long as I'm able and thus, I will be yours."
"You're precious just the way you are," Huaisang insists, feeling aggressive and scared over the idea that anyone might try to change the things that make Dorian uniquely him. "And if you want to marry one day, when you get home, you can marry some very handsome man with a very nice ass and you can adopt some elf brat, probably, in order to really piss off the powerful families of Tevinter."
Huaisang keeps his arms tight around Dorian, heart aching. "You don't need to change. I love this Dorian."
"Thank you, I love you as well." A gentle kiss is dropped on Huaisang's brow and he sets his drink aside so he can embrace the man back.
"Hah! I actually had a love back home, in Thedas. I planned on returning to Tevinter, but he cannot go with me. Our people are at war." Dorian swallows and lowers his voice. "He's here in Duplicity." It doesn't feel right to talk about this with a man he'd just announced his love for, but he knows Huaisang won't be offended by the topic and might actually find this new information particularly juicy.
Huaisang sits up in interest at this new information. Moving to sit fully in Dorian's lap, even if it is still side-saddle, he studies his lover's face, bewildered that he speaks about this lover in past tense but then says that he's presently here in Duplicity. "He's here? But ... you're not together? I don't understand."
“He doesn’t remember being in a relationship with me from his version of Thedas. I’ve told him what we were and though I know he cares for me, I don’t know if it’s from feelings he’d developed here to compliment my memories...” Dorian has come to terms with this pain and talking about it makes it hurt less.
Aching sympathy takes over Huaisang's face, heart hurting for what Dorian tells him. He loved someone that much, and yet. How awful it must be to not be remembered by a loved one.
Huaisang knows that this place does things like that. He's seen two versions of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, and they remembered different sets of things. The Wei Wuxian who was here now arrived completely ignorant of the fact that Lan Wangji loved him, and could never have imagined that the two of them were in fact married.
"Dorian." Huaisang presses their foreheads together, aching so much that he wants to cry. Fenris or Bull? he wonders. Or someone else from their world I haven't yet encountered. No... he'd talk about them, if it was someone else. He would have involved himself in their life.
The permanent contract. Bull. That makes sense now.
Huaisang cannot imagine how wretched that must feel. If his brother were to return, but from some version where Huaisang had not been legitimized as his father's son, where Mingjue had never spoiled him and protected him, had never loved him... It would break Huaisang's heart to encounter such a version of his brother.
Dorian draws in a deep, shuddering breath, heart aching as he looks over Huaisang's face. His own countenance sobers considerably, smile falling so his expression most closely reflects his lover's, though it's a subdued pain. He's all too familiar with hiding how he feels, but he's got no reason to pretend. Not here and not now. Dorian finally allows himself the chance.
As he rests his brow against Huaisang's it furrows and he clenches his jaw. Both arms raise to hold the other man tight. It's not fair. Duplicity isn't fair. It would be so much better if he could blame someone for hurting him when he thought he'd finally been healed. He's having to piece his heart back together again and trying so carefully not to worry anyone. His face feels hot, like a ring of fire had been set around his collar and he can't bare to open his eyes.
When he finally speaks his voice is thick with emotion, frail and cracking along the edges like bark on a tree. "It is... He says I matter to him now." Which implies that before, had he not mattered or meant anything to The Iron Bull at all? Was he nothing more than a companion who was pretty on the eyes? Something not worthy of pursuit? He wants to be angry, to throw a fit, but it's not Bull's fault. He can't bring himself to feel anything but pain.
Huaisang hugs him tight, burying his face against the side of Dorian's throat. "Of course you matter to him. You're irresistible. And... he was here first? This place changes us, Dorian. It makes us... like we said. It's impossible to be exclusive. One day you'll go home and he'll be there, just the way you remember him. Until then, you have me, and you have a version of him, which is surely better than nothing."
Nuzzling at Dorian's throat, Huaisang presses a few soft kisses. "You are worthy of love. You are worthy of someone choosing you above all others. Someone already has. He's at home waiting for you, and the war will end one day. All wars end."
Grey eyes crack open as his embrace is returned and Dorian buries his face in the crook of Huaisang's neck. There's an unmistakable shake to his shoulders and he holds his lover tighter. Despite the pain, he feels a greater warmth of comfort and understanding and relief. A few wet kisses are dropped on Huaisang's neck and he nuzzles close when he hears that he's worthy of love.
This is more than enough. More than he could have ever expected. "If it were not for this place, I never would have met you." His voice is still just as thick, but it's quiet and only meant for the Dominant he holds close. "My Huaisang.... my Amatus."
Dorian raises his head only to cup the opposite side of his lover's face and kiss at his temple and into his dark hair. "The things you say. I must appear quite a mess. An irresistible one, yes, but a mess nonetheless." He keeps his face buried in Huaisang's hair, any attempts at a kiss or glance will cause him to turn his face away. The dampness surrounding his eyes and stuck in his lashes is unmistakable.
Huaisang blushes deeply at the way Dorian holds him and murmurs to him. He doesn't know what the endearment means, but the tone with which it's said communicates plenty. It's almost too much, too intense. Huaisang doesn't believe anyone could love him that much, and he doesn't know how to deal with the suggestion that Dorian might. It's eased by the knowledge that there's someone waiting for Dorian back home, someone he loves more, someone he belongs with. Huaisang is just some fun along the way.
"You're allowed to be a mess," Huaisang says, nuzzling at him and kissing at his lover's jaw and throat. "What's wrong with being a mess? I love you messes and all."
His tone of voice and the way he embraces Huaisang speak volumes of love and adoration. It still feels like his heart is throbbing and causing his chest to ache, but it’s not entirely unpleasant now, not while Huaisang is in his arms. Being with this man is always fun, but Dorian’s heart is big enough for more than one love or else he wouldn’t have opened up like he’d just done. He trust Huaisang, knows that either of them leaving Duplicity and each other is a very real possibility. For as long as he’s here to dote and pleasure this man, he will.
“Maker’s breath... are you blushing?” Dorian no longer tries to hide his face, not after being kissed and nuzzled so. He cups his hands on either side of his lover’s face and presses the tip of his nose to Huaisang’s. “Was it something I said?” A flush rising on those cheeks isn’t terribly rare considering how they often choose to spend their time together, but in this context...
Dorian tucks and curls his fingers behind each of the other man’s ears and gently traces over his bottom lip with the pad of one of his thumbs. “Such a lovely scarlet.” His eyes shine like crystals, brightened by tears he’d managed to hold back and they search Huaisang’s face before settling on his eyes.
Dorian drawing attention to the blush certainly makes it deepen, and Huaisang raises his shoulders, pouting defensively at the teasing over his blush. "I blush all the time!"
Huffing and lifting his chin primly, Huaisang looks away, trying to distract from any hint of emotional vulnerability on his own part. "I happen to have very pale skin that shows blushes, that's all. It's considered a sign of beauty where I come from."
He risks a glance at Dorian to see if this distraction technique is effective, then continues his vain little huffing and pouting.
Dorian hadn't been teasing and looks momentarily taken aback, but not enough so to let Huaisang go or to tear his eyes away from him. "So then I must appear quite unattractive by your standards." It's interesting, the difference in cultures and views of beauty. Dorian doesn't think any less of himself and has been called handsome plenty of times by his lover to know that those standards might not apply. That... or Huaisang just has excellent taste or a taste for exotic men.
"Don't turn away from me..." He pinches his lover's chin and turns his face so they're once more, nose to nose. "... it only makes me want you more." The struggle and threat of escape only makes him constrict tighter." "Come- let me admire you and those rosy cheeks."
Huaisang blinks at Dorian thinking himself unattractive by Huaisang's standards, and he shakes his head, looking earnest. "I'm beautiful," he says, touching his nose, then Dorian's. "You're handsome. Paleness indicates delicacy, leisure, artistry. My brother was almost as dark as you, always outdoors training with his sword or leading military campaigns. He was heartbreakingly handsome."
Giggling as Dorian says that Huaisang's attempts to escape only increase his desire, Huaisang promptly starts squirming and wriggling in more earnest, trying to slither out of Dorian's grip. "Is that so?" He much prefers playfulness to any kind of honest analysis of his feelings, so he's quick to take this distraction to the topic.
"Mmh..." He still considers himself beautiful, but the word definitely rings differently with Huaisang than with Dorian. There's still a great deal of affection and warmth in the mage's tone and he sacrifices the hold on his lover's face to circle an arm about his waist and keep him nice and close.
"You would try to deny me?" Dorian presses a gentle, chaste kiss to Huaisang's lips and lingers close enough to steal those lips as the temptation arises.
Huaisang giggles with delight as Dorian grips tighter and steals kisses. He steals a few pecks back in return, but mostly tries to dodge the kisses, pecking at Dorian's jaw or throat instead and laughing brightly. "Maybe I just like being chased. And caught."
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Action - Dorian
After the conversation with Dorian on the network, Huaisang heads home to meet his lover. He changes quickly into a cute, light floral sundress and whirls barefoot to open the door, pouncing Dorian with a hug and a kiss.
"Hey lover." Huaisang smiles warmly at him, drawing him into the parlor where a chilled bottle of wine and two glasses are already waiting for them.
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His attire is relatively casual despite the extravagance he likes to decorate himself with and he's offers Huaisang a warm smile at the light, airy dress he wears. The fabric moves well with him, fluttering around his feet as he walks and giving any movement a fluid grace.
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He closes his eyes and hangs his head for a moment, remembering what he'd left and discovered upon arrival in Duplicity. How it crushed him. Huaisang isn't asking about his past pains or experiences, but he can't help the droop to his shoulders. This is the pain of a man who has given his all, his entire life and his love and still hasn't found acceptance from the person he craved it most from.
"I want more than just fun." That's something he can say with confidence.
Duplicity is fun, what with the allowance and encouragement of sex without discrimination, but he wants more. "I want... acceptance." That last word is said as he turns his head up to look Huaisang in the eyes.
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His eyes glint with playfulness as he leans back, but the sympathy is still there, ready to listen to Dorian's needs and to meet as many of them as he reasonably can. "How do you define acceptance? Or acceptance for what?"
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“Thank you.” There’s a slight crack to his voice and he draws a sip from his glass.
“Acceptance for my sexuality and my desire to be true to myself despite traditions and ideals.” There’s a bitterness to his words even if he has calmed considerably. “I want something exclusive and that is not something I can ask of anyone or even myself in Duplicity.”
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Huaisang kisses the tip of Dorian's nose, fond and warm. "I agree that there can be no exclusivity in Duplicity. I tried it early on, because it was asked of me. It is not something I would try again for anyone."
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"I was arranged to be married, to carry on the bloodline... and of course I couldn't go through with it." Another sip of his wine and he turns his gaze away and into the contents of his glass. "He was going to alter my mind- to change me."
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"Don't worry. I'm not about to let anyone try, either. I'll be me for as long as I'm able and thus, I will be yours."
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Huaisang keeps his arms tight around Dorian, heart aching. "You don't need to change. I love this Dorian."
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"Hah! I actually had a love back home, in Thedas. I planned on returning to Tevinter, but he cannot go with me. Our people are at war." Dorian swallows and lowers his voice. "He's here in Duplicity." It doesn't feel right to talk about this with a man he'd just announced his love for, but he knows Huaisang won't be offended by the topic and might actually find this new information particularly juicy.
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Huaisang knows that this place does things like that. He's seen two versions of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, and they remembered different sets of things. The Wei Wuxian who was here now arrived completely ignorant of the fact that Lan Wangji loved him, and could never have imagined that the two of them were in fact married.
"Dorian." Huaisang presses their foreheads together, aching so much that he wants to cry. Fenris or Bull? he wonders. Or someone else from their world I haven't yet encountered. No... he'd talk about them, if it was someone else. He would have involved himself in their life.
The permanent contract. Bull. That makes sense now.
Huaisang cannot imagine how wretched that must feel. If his brother were to return, but from some version where Huaisang had not been legitimized as his father's son, where Mingjue had never spoiled him and protected him, had never loved him... It would break Huaisang's heart to encounter such a version of his brother.
"My sympathies. That must be excruciating."
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As he rests his brow against Huaisang's it furrows and he clenches his jaw. Both arms raise to hold the other man tight. It's not fair. Duplicity isn't fair. It would be so much better if he could blame someone for hurting him when he thought he'd finally been healed. He's having to piece his heart back together again and trying so carefully not to worry anyone. His face feels hot, like a ring of fire had been set around his collar and he can't bare to open his eyes.
When he finally speaks his voice is thick with emotion, frail and cracking along the edges like bark on a tree. "It is... He says I matter to him now." Which implies that before, had he not mattered or meant anything to The Iron Bull at all? Was he nothing more than a companion who was pretty on the eyes? Something not worthy of pursuit? He wants to be angry, to throw a fit, but it's not Bull's fault. He can't bring himself to feel anything but pain.
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Nuzzling at Dorian's throat, Huaisang presses a few soft kisses. "You are worthy of love. You are worthy of someone choosing you above all others. Someone already has. He's at home waiting for you, and the war will end one day. All wars end."
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This is more than enough. More than he could have ever expected. "If it were not for this place, I never would have met you." His voice is still just as thick, but it's quiet and only meant for the Dominant he holds close. "My Huaisang.... my Amatus."
Dorian raises his head only to cup the opposite side of his lover's face and kiss at his temple and into his dark hair. "The things you say. I must appear quite a mess. An irresistible one, yes, but a mess nonetheless." He keeps his face buried in Huaisang's hair, any attempts at a kiss or glance will cause him to turn his face away. The dampness surrounding his eyes and stuck in his lashes is unmistakable.
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"You're allowed to be a mess," Huaisang says, nuzzling at him and kissing at his lover's jaw and throat. "What's wrong with being a mess? I love you messes and all."
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“Maker’s breath... are you blushing?” Dorian no longer tries to hide his face, not after being kissed and nuzzled so. He cups his hands on either side of his lover’s face and presses the tip of his nose to Huaisang’s. “Was it something I said?” A flush rising on those cheeks isn’t terribly rare considering how they often choose to spend their time together, but in this context...
Dorian tucks and curls his fingers behind each of the other man’s ears and gently traces over his bottom lip with the pad of one of his thumbs. “Such a lovely scarlet.” His eyes shine like crystals, brightened by tears he’d managed to hold back and they search Huaisang’s face before settling on his eyes.
cw: potentially offensive beauty standards
Huffing and lifting his chin primly, Huaisang looks away, trying to distract from any hint of emotional vulnerability on his own part. "I happen to have very pale skin that shows blushes, that's all. It's considered a sign of beauty where I come from."
He risks a glance at Dorian to see if this distraction technique is effective, then continues his vain little huffing and pouting.
Re: cw: potentially offensive beauty standards
"Don't turn away from me..." He pinches his lover's chin and turns his face so they're once more, nose to nose. "... it only makes me want you more." The struggle and threat of escape only makes him constrict tighter." "Come- let me admire you and those rosy cheeks."
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Giggling as Dorian says that Huaisang's attempts to escape only increase his desire, Huaisang promptly starts squirming and wriggling in more earnest, trying to slither out of Dorian's grip. "Is that so?" He much prefers playfulness to any kind of honest analysis of his feelings, so he's quick to take this distraction to the topic.
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"You would try to deny me?" Dorian presses a gentle, chaste kiss to Huaisang's lips and lingers close enough to steal those lips as the temptation arises.
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