Huaisang sags a little in Dorian's loosened grip. He trusts Dorian to hold him up, and if he's let go, he will sink to the floor. He knows that, and doesn't mind it.
Once Meng Yao has gone, Huaisang sighs softly, tipping his head back onto Dorian's shoulder. He has far more emotions roiling inside of him than he knows what to deal with, but he feels immense gratitude and affection toward Dorian at the moment, and that's his priority. "Can we go upstairs and cuddle?" he asks, voice soft and hesitant. "You can ask whatever else you want."
If he feels Huaisang using his hold for support, Dorian maintains his grip enough to prevent him sinking to the floor. The mage hears that sigh, feels the weight against him and swallows, eyes only leaving the ground when Huaisang suggests that they go cuddle.
He's in no mood to cuddle, he wants to shout and drink until his throat is numb. But he doubts Huaisang has anything strong enough and any shouting would upset the man further.
"If that's what you want." Dorian makes no move to carry the Dominant and releases him enough to see if he'll be guided up to the room he's so familiar with.
"To talk and for you to listen to me." Dorian has met no one else who is nearly so spoiled and theatrical, he worries that he'll say something again and Huaisang will cry and feel attacked and insulted. "I realize you're upset and it was not my intention to upset you." The sigh he lets out is frustrated, but other than tension in his brows and shoulders, his body language is slow, gentle and intentional. Both hands lowers to settle on Huaisang's hips and he presses his lips to each of those tear-streaked cheeks.
Huaisang nods at Dorian's words, swallowing hard but not looking away. His lover's patience with him is surprising and impressive, and Huaisang's shocked at how clear it is that Dorian's putting Huaisang's needs before his own. Even now, when Huaisang doesn't think he's lovable at all. His gaze is faithful and attentive, still studying Dorian's face. "Do you really... do you really still love me even if I'm weak and cowardly and a crybaby?"
"Of course. Not everyone is made to be brave and powerful. I rather enjoy how open you are with your tears." He reaches up to grab Huaisang's jaw, grasp tight, but not bruising as he lifts the man's face and stares him straight in the eyes.
"That being said- I will not be manipulated and used. I am no ones to command, designations be damned. I came to your aid because I wanted to. Because I love you. It's not a lack of trust in your judgement, but I take offense that you seem to think I cannot make my own. The same goes for The Iron Bull." It's this topic that seems to be upsetting him the most. He had done so well to be sparing with his magic, using it against no one and practicing where it was safe and wouldn't be deemed a threat. Of course the first and only time he casts a spell of his own will and it displeases The Iron Bull, because of course it does.
The hold of his hand softens on Huaisang's face until he's gently pinching his chin.
Huaisang frowns at that tighter grip and the stern words. There's a slight tug against Dorian's grip, just the instinct to recoil and tuck his chin, wanting to curl defensively into himself against such forthright scolding.
"I didn't," Huaisang mumbles, eyes hurt and expression sulky. His first instinct is to further their earlier quarrel--he'd assessed the situation and had made the request he had in order to prevent further damage to his business. But perhaps Dorian would have felt better if he'd stopped Charlotte's hateful ranting rather than preventing it, so that there was no one to vouch for its existence but Huaisang--and Lucy, he hoped.
He thought he understood--Dorian was more angry at himself than at Huaisang, because he hadn't taken the moment to assess before he obeyed, so all responsibility for his choice fell on Huaisang. A choice that Bull was now questioning, and Dorian could make no defense but Huaisang told me to, and I trust him.
"I understand." Huaisang drops his eyes, still pouting but not doing anything to resist Dorian's grip. His brow is furrowed, unhappiness and regret in his expression. "I didn't use you. You're my defender, not my pawn."
He did not come here to pit his two favorite Dominants against one another. With how observant and skilled Bull is, he'll likely hear about all of this and Dorian is certain that it will be brought up to him again. A conversation he's well-prepared for so long as the Bull doesn't cut off communication before he's said his piece. Just because he got irritated did not make him unreasonable. Tonight he is not going back home and he is not staying at Huaisang's.
"I know you didn't. That is not what I'm saying. I will fight to keep you safe, I will come to watch over you and make sure no one brings you harm if you feel you're being threatened. I regret freezing the woman, it's true. I should have heard her out before acting so hastily. I'll admit, I got excited and I wish she would have drawn a blade or attempted violence so I could have done her worse..." Dorian clears his throat and slides his hand lower so he can gently cup and massage the base of Huaisang's neck. "But in the future, I will act with more consideration first. If you feel that I'm not good enough, if you don't trust me to defend you then please take the cuff off me."
Huaisang nods, though he lightly brushes off Dorian's caressing hand, guiding it back down to his waist. His emotions are a muddle right now, but he doesn't want to be soothed, just held. "I agree. I didn't expect you to act so quickly, but I didn't think of it as anything amiss at the time. It would have been better if you'd taken a moment to assess. Perhaps then you would have chosen a different course of action, but I know absolutely that you would have acted in my best interests whatever you decided. I didn't mean to doubt you when you said that you'd take more care in the future--I thought you meant something like listening to both sides because you didn't trust my word. You meant taking a moment to assess so that you could choose the most appropriate course of action. And because you didn't, it's put you in a difficult position in regards to the Iron Bull's doubts."
Huaisang lowers his eyes to Dorian's chest, chewing softly on his lower lip. He's so tired. He just wants to be loved, not doubted. He wants a reprieve from this week of having to tiptoe so carefully through situations and still having them blow up in his face. He just wants to be surface-level and pleasant, a pretty face without a thought in his head. "I'll do everything I can to help you track down more answers regarding the situation, whatever you need."
"Bull doesn't like magic. Regardless of the fact that I didn't harm Charlotte, I did use my magic on someone." If Huaisang wants to be held, then that's what Dorian does, hand resting on his waist.
"I acted and put myself in this situation. This is my mess to clean up. I don't care if Bull's opinion of you is dependent on those accusations, baseless or not, I couldn't just hear him say such things and not get your word on it. For disturbing your evening and causing you such distress- I apologize. It was not my intention."
"You didn't disturb my evening. You're important to me. I'm always going to make time if you need me for any reason."
Huaisang hesitates, studying Dorian's expression warily. It feels like he's wrapping this conversation up so that he can leave, and that makes Huaisang dread that maybe he's not forgiven after all. "Are you... are you leaving?"
For the first time this evening, Dorian's expression softens and he holds Huaisang close, hands looping behind the small of his back, fingers interlocking. "No. I do have plans to drink myself into a stupor, but they aren't at all time-sensitive." A playful smile touches his lips and he leans in close enough to kiss, but doesn't do so yet. "Would you care to join me?"
Huaisang nods softly, smile hesitantly appearing as it seems like Dorian will stay a while longer. He hated the thought of letting him go while they were both in such a mood, having been through so much. "You pick the room. I have liquor in all of them. And in my pouch. You know. The usual."
This time as he bites his lip, there's a slight twitch in the opposite side, knowing how much they both appreciate quality liquor.
"Whichever has the strongest liquor in it; better to numb my mind and throat." In other words, he wants to get fucked up and throw back drinks until he leaves in a questionable state. "I care very little for the hangover that I'll suffer." And he finally steals that smooch.
"Come, lets drown away these terrible feelings and maybe more if the mood strikes us."
"If you have any magical defenses or healing for hangovers, I can boost that for you." He can't heal ordinary humans, but cultivators boost each other's healing abilities all the time. Their magical styles are different, but Huaisang doesn't think that spiritual energy can be all that different when it comes to the pure energy standpoint of things.
Nudging Dorian through the right-hand door, Huaisang leads him into the living room. He doesn't use it nearly as much as his French parlor, and often treats it as nothing more than the hallway to pass through. It's also the only room that has a television set in it, so Huaisang tends to think of it as his porn-watching room.
Letting go as they enter the room, Huaisang goes to the side cabinet. "Have I made you try baijiu yet? I also have jin." He means gin, of course, but this is one of those words where his accent defaults to the Chinese homonym.
"I've healing potions that stave it off, but any help wouldn't be opposed. Drinking until I'm practically unconscious is the only way for me to get a decent night's rest." It's a normal problem, not something he complains about and there's a laugh to his voice.
"I can't recall. I'm not in the mood to be picky, honestly. Gin. It's alright, not my favorite."
"If you're.. interested in pursuing other ways, the Lan brothers have a variety of ways to soothe the spirit." Not that Huaisang uses them. His spirit doesn't need soothing. He may be hot-tempered, vengeful, and jealous, but he doesn't think any of those traits need fixing.
Pouring a glass of gin and a glass of baijiu, Huaisang holds them both out. Both glasses are clear, so he lifts one of them slightly higher. "This is the baijiu. Do you want me to go and fetch some ice cubes from the kitchen? I don't mind."
"Mmh... it's more or less assistance with quieting the mind. Every person from my world is tied to the Fade, mages, however subconsciously dream in it. I've chatted with demon, staved off possession and been haunted with nightmares. It's... a normal occurrence I'm accustomed to. Real sleep is something I've experienced here once and before my arrival... my childhood. Let's just say I'm more spiritually attuned than most, but I could seek assistance from Xichen if you think it will help." A chuckle and a twinkle in his eye. "Provided I don't have to drink tea, of course."
Dorian reaches for the glass of baijiu and sniffs at it curiously. "No ice, thank you. I can chill it-water it down to preference with magic."
"Xichen and Wangji are both experts at such things. Everything you've described--well, not me, but... you're not the only one. Please do speak to Xichen. He'd be glad to help, though you..." Hesitating, Huaisang's faint smile grows very tense and cold. "I'd prefer you went to Wangji for this. If you go to Xichen, then please mind my fervent insistence that Meng Yao not be involved in any way, not even to touch or prepare anything Xichen may use for the quieting."
Huaisang knocks back a large gulp of the gin, and his expression has gotten very cold and hard now. "Better on my nerves if you just go to Wangji. You'll remember how Meng Yao spoke of his crimes."
He's not going to say anything more on that topic, but he sits down hard on the couch, expression still tense.
Dorian is left speechless and stares down into his glass before joining Huaisang on the couch.
"I've met Wangji in passing, during events, but we've not been introduced. Not formally. To be quite honest, I trust Xichen more and don't see the relevance concerning Meng Yao or his crimes, but for you... I guess I'll visit the temple." That and he's been curious if they would allow him to train with his staff.
"Thank you. Xichen is trustworthy on most matters. Meng Yao is not, and Xichen's judgement is ... compromised when it comes to him."
Huaisang nestles close, legs hooked over Dorian's lap in his habitual way. "You might talk to Xichen if you have any questions about Meng Yao and my ... hesitation over having Xichen treat you. I'm bound to silence about Meng Yao, but he is not.
"All of us trust Wangji. He is steadfast in all matters."
"I might... he's spoken to me about your brother. We got off on the wrong foot, so to speak and Xichen insisted I try to give him a chance." Because Dorian had every intention of being himself, even if it irritated Mingjue.
"He also revealed some particularly disturbing information to me; concerning your brother. I'm well aware that Meng Yao is not as he seems, he even told me that he has been thoroughly de-fanged. It will be a conversation for another time- I believe I've met my quota for difficult and tense conversations for the month." A shake of his head. Yes, he is curious, but he likes Xichen and he also likes Meng Yao, but it's obvious there is a lot here.
"Oh, da ge and I are on the wrong foot more often than we get along," Huaisang assures him, cheering up a little as he says it. "Fortunately he has no choice but to forgive me for things."
Snuggling close, Huaisang nods at the line about the quota for difficult conversations. "Me too. I want very much for the next month to hold nothing but pleasantness and fun. I'm planning to hold a solstice party, you know. It's traditional back home, our Dongzhi festival."
"I'd like to make peace with him, if at all possible. I know you care deeply for him. I can't promise it will be anytime soon, but one of these days I would like to sit down with him and share more wine." Dorian leans in just as close, truly snuggling him. "You always throw such wonderful parties."
"Maybe not wine. He doesn't drink wine. You could drink tea to demonstrate that you're serious about gaining his regard, or... well, there's always fruit juice."
Happy to snuggle, Huaisang knocks back the rest of his glass and then sets it aside. Reaching for Dorian's face, Huaisang guides him into a soft kiss, sweet at first and then increasingly needy.
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Once Meng Yao has gone, Huaisang sighs softly, tipping his head back onto Dorian's shoulder. He has far more emotions roiling inside of him than he knows what to deal with, but he feels immense gratitude and affection toward Dorian at the moment, and that's his priority. "Can we go upstairs and cuddle?" he asks, voice soft and hesitant. "You can ask whatever else you want."
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He's in no mood to cuddle, he wants to shout and drink until his throat is numb. But he doubts Huaisang has anything strong enough and any shouting would upset the man further.
"If that's what you want." Dorian makes no move to carry the Dominant and releases him enough to see if he'll be guided up to the room he's so familiar with.
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Exhausted and hurting though Huaisang is, he doesn't want Dorian to be hurt because of him. "What do you want?"
He'll do his best if Dorian needs him. As long as he can still be close, as long as Dorian loves him, Huaisang will do his best to be strong.
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"That being said- I will not be manipulated and used. I am no ones to command, designations be damned. I came to your aid because I wanted to. Because I love you. It's not a lack of trust in your judgement, but I take offense that you seem to think I cannot make my own. The same goes for The Iron Bull." It's this topic that seems to be upsetting him the most. He had done so well to be sparing with his magic, using it against no one and practicing where it was safe and wouldn't be deemed a threat. Of course the first and only time he casts a spell of his own will and it displeases The Iron Bull, because of course it does.
The hold of his hand softens on Huaisang's face until he's gently pinching his chin.
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"I didn't," Huaisang mumbles, eyes hurt and expression sulky. His first instinct is to further their earlier quarrel--he'd assessed the situation and had made the request he had in order to prevent further damage to his business. But perhaps Dorian would have felt better if he'd stopped Charlotte's hateful ranting rather than preventing it, so that there was no one to vouch for its existence but Huaisang--and Lucy, he hoped.
He thought he understood--Dorian was more angry at himself than at Huaisang, because he hadn't taken the moment to assess before he obeyed, so all responsibility for his choice fell on Huaisang. A choice that Bull was now questioning, and Dorian could make no defense but Huaisang told me to, and I trust him.
"I understand." Huaisang drops his eyes, still pouting but not doing anything to resist Dorian's grip. His brow is furrowed, unhappiness and regret in his expression. "I didn't use you. You're my defender, not my pawn."
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"I know you didn't. That is not what I'm saying. I will fight to keep you safe, I will come to watch over you and make sure no one brings you harm if you feel you're being threatened. I regret freezing the woman, it's true. I should have heard her out before acting so hastily. I'll admit, I got excited and I wish she would have drawn a blade or attempted violence so I could have done her worse..." Dorian clears his throat and slides his hand lower so he can gently cup and massage the base of Huaisang's neck. "But in the future, I will act with more consideration first. If you feel that I'm not good enough, if you don't trust me to defend you then please take the cuff off me."
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Huaisang lowers his eyes to Dorian's chest, chewing softly on his lower lip. He's so tired. He just wants to be loved, not doubted. He wants a reprieve from this week of having to tiptoe so carefully through situations and still having them blow up in his face. He just wants to be surface-level and pleasant, a pretty face without a thought in his head. "I'll do everything I can to help you track down more answers regarding the situation, whatever you need."
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"I acted and put myself in this situation. This is my mess to clean up. I don't care if Bull's opinion of you is dependent on those accusations, baseless or not, I couldn't just hear him say such things and not get your word on it. For disturbing your evening and causing you such distress- I apologize. It was not my intention."
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Huaisang hesitates, studying Dorian's expression warily. It feels like he's wrapping this conversation up so that he can leave, and that makes Huaisang dread that maybe he's not forgiven after all. "Are you... are you leaving?"
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This time as he bites his lip, there's a slight twitch in the opposite side, knowing how much they both appreciate quality liquor.
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"Come, lets drown away these terrible feelings and maybe more if the mood strikes us."
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Nudging Dorian through the right-hand door, Huaisang leads him into the living room. He doesn't use it nearly as much as his French parlor, and often treats it as nothing more than the hallway to pass through. It's also the only room that has a television set in it, so Huaisang tends to think of it as his porn-watching room.
Letting go as they enter the room, Huaisang goes to the side cabinet. "Have I made you try baijiu yet? I also have jin." He means gin, of course, but this is one of those words where his accent defaults to the Chinese homonym.
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"I can't recall. I'm not in the mood to be picky, honestly. Gin. It's alright, not my favorite."
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Pouring a glass of gin and a glass of baijiu, Huaisang holds them both out. Both glasses are clear, so he lifts one of them slightly higher. "This is the baijiu. Do you want me to go and fetch some ice cubes from the kitchen? I don't mind."
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Dorian reaches for the glass of baijiu and sniffs at it curiously. "No ice, thank you. I can chill it-water it down to preference with magic."
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Huaisang knocks back a large gulp of the gin, and his expression has gotten very cold and hard now. "Better on my nerves if you just go to Wangji. You'll remember how Meng Yao spoke of his crimes."
He's not going to say anything more on that topic, but he sits down hard on the couch, expression still tense.
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"I've met Wangji in passing, during events, but we've not been introduced. Not formally. To be quite honest, I trust Xichen more and don't see the relevance concerning Meng Yao or his crimes, but for you... I guess I'll visit the temple." That and he's been curious if they would allow him to train with his staff.
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Huaisang nestles close, legs hooked over Dorian's lap in his habitual way. "You might talk to Xichen if you have any questions about Meng Yao and my ... hesitation over having Xichen treat you. I'm bound to silence about Meng Yao, but he is not.
"All of us trust Wangji. He is steadfast in all matters."
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"He also revealed some particularly disturbing information to me; concerning your brother. I'm well aware that Meng Yao is not as he seems, he even told me that he has been thoroughly de-fanged. It will be a conversation for another time- I believe I've met my quota for difficult and tense conversations for the month." A shake of his head. Yes, he is curious, but he likes Xichen and he also likes Meng Yao, but it's obvious there is a lot here.
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Snuggling close, Huaisang nods at the line about the quota for difficult conversations. "Me too. I want very much for the next month to hold nothing but pleasantness and fun. I'm planning to hold a solstice party, you know. It's traditional back home, our Dongzhi festival."
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Happy to snuggle, Huaisang knocks back the rest of his glass and then sets it aside. Reaching for Dorian's face, Huaisang guides him into a soft kiss, sweet at first and then increasingly needy.
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