[He thinks about posing for that painting for Huaisang. How good that felt. How safe Steven has made him feel.]
[Quentin's not a stranger to being in love with someone who says "no thanks actually," but what he's having a hard time squaring is someone treating him the way Steven has treated him and then saying "I only like you as a friend."]
That's normal. You can feel the full pain of it if you want, cry and sob and scream, and sometimes that's good. But it's normal to just kind of ... feel numb. In between the pain. And it's ok if you don't feel numb, too. It's not like he's some great epic romance that you've lost in some catastrophic and tragic way. He's just some guy.
Well nobody's dead and despite what your brain might be telling you right now, you are still loved and desired by lots of people so... pretty sure it's not worse.
Okay so you also can't do anything about this and it also doesn't have anything to do with you. I mean in the way that you didn't 'fail' at being a boyfriend or whatever.
I don't know what happened or what he told you but if someone doesn't want you for who you are, then they're not good for you, and I'm not gonna let you tell yourself that if you'd been better or different or someone else then it would have worked out. If you had to be someone else for it to work out, then it's good that it didn't.
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I know he meant a lot to you.
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[Quentin's not a stranger to being in love with someone who says "no thanks actually," but what he's having a hard time squaring is someone treating him the way Steven has treated him and then saying "I only like you as a friend."]
Yeah
I'm still in love with him
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But if you need help putting itching powder in his closet you just let me know
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I guess I mostly just feel numb? Which scares me a little.
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I don't know what happened or what he told you but if someone doesn't want you for who you are, then they're not good for you, and I'm not gonna let you tell yourself that if you'd been better or different or someone else then it would have worked out. If you had to be someone else for it to work out, then it's good that it didn't.
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I know
I just hate it
I don't think I can hate him but you're allowed to
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I'll come by and we'll do the wine thing in a little bit
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