( Javert gives a low groan in response, quickly losing himself to the pleasure and the arousing certainty of his husband pressed against him. But then Huaisang pulls away, and Javert cannot understand what it is that he's done wrong, looking down at his beloved with concern in his eyes, a little confusion wrinkling his brow. )
Why would anything change?
( He tries to think for a moment, his expression painful, as it always is, whenever he's trying to wrangle with uncertainty. Is this about Javert's earlier blunder? Or something else? He looks terribly upset on Huaisang's behalf, briefly forgetting the stars and the kiss in favor of reassuring his husband, pulling him close to his chest to protect him from his own worried thoughts. )
[Blushing and shy with self doubt, Huaisang tangles his hands tight into Javert's shirt, clinging to him but only holding his eyes for a moment at a time.] You were angry and you were worried you weren't submissive enough and I know it was my fault that you were feeling those things and you wanted to stop for the night but here I am turning things toward sex again anyway, and I just don't want anything to change, I want our relationship to be the same as it was yesterday, and I'm just scared that you'll try to change to be better because we quarreled but I want you the way you've been, and I'm scared that you're still angry at me and ... and that I've messed everything up or that I'm gonna mess everything up ...
[Huaisang knows he's babbling, words spilling out without any ability to order them into reasonable arguments, and he blinks rapidly, tears threatening again because he's always been a crybaby.]
I do wanna just kiss. I just need to know that everything's okay and nothing's going to change and I thought you didn't want more sex tonight and I don't want to ... I don't know ... tread thoughtlessly over your comfort just because kissing ... because ...
( Javert makes soothing little noises as Huaisang speaks, hushing him and cradling his head to chest as his words become a little more fraught and uncertain. He wants desperately to inspire confidence — that is something that has always come easy to him. For all of Javert's faults, he has always been a beacon of loyalty and surety — that is not going to change. )
Nothing is going to change. All I desire is to have someone take back control over me, dominate me as I feel I deserve. That is all I want. You need not be the one to do it, and it need not happen tonight.
You made your feelings on the matter quite clear. I don't wish for our marriage become an unhappy thing for you, make you feel as if you cannot express your desires or your feelings to me. That would hurt me far more than anything. I want to give you what you desire, always. You know this.
Oh. [Huaisang blinks a little in surprise, realigning his understanding of the situation. Javert doesn't need anything to change, doesn't need Huaisang to do anything in particular. If he needs some catharsis, he'll seek it elsewhere, but they're all right and there's no need to dwell.
Relaxing and tucking his head close again, Huaisang takes a deep breath.] Okay. I misunderstood.
[Closing his eyes, Huaisang just lets himself be held and soothed, letting go of his insecurities and need to please.]
( Javert remains steadfast in his embrace, holding Huaisang while he recovers and composes himself a little more. He doesn't say anything for quite a while, content to remain like this for a few more minutes, looking up at the night sky once more before speaking softly, )
Are you alright? ( He wonders, speaking low so that he doesn't startle his husband too much. ) Shall we go in and undress for bed?
[Huaisang nods at the question, lifting his head to smile up at his husband, admiring how handsome he is. Leaning up for one last kiss, Huaisang lingers for a few seconds, chaste and affectionate, before he settles back on his heels.]
Yes, please. [Taking his husband's hand as they return inside, Huaisang slips out of his boots without help and lets Javert take the cloak, shivering just a little in the cool air that came in with them.] Carry me?
( Javert's expression softens at that look, his own eyes becoming gentle and wonderous. Staring at Huaisang as if he cannot believe how that he is here, that someone like him could ever be so patient and understanding — so forgiving of Javert when he is not at his best.
He returns the kiss just as gently, taking Huaisang's hand in his as he leads him back to the house. There, he quickly discards his boots and his greatcoat, helping Huaisang out of his cloak before carrying him up the stairs. He kisses him one more time as he lays him down on the bed, undressing his husband silently before doing the same for himself.
Then he slips in on the other side of the bed, reaching for his husband and pressing his body against the thin fabric of his nightshirt, his chest sturdy and warm. )
I am sure I will be aching for you by morning.
( He murmurs, closing his eyes and settling in, wanting Huaisang to know that it is alright for him to feel this way. He isn't the only one who yearns, and this won't be the first time Javert's woken up hard, desperate for his husband even in his sleep. )
[Huaisang nestles close as soon as he's in his husband's arms, clinging a little until he's set down. He helps wiggle out of his clothing back down to his little gray knit romper, watching Javert's clothing come off with little licks of his lips, lustful as always for his husband's strong, muscular body.
Reaching for him at once, Huaisang nestles close, giving him another soft kiss. He moans a little at he words, squirming as a wave of lust goes through him.] Don't deny yourself, if you do.
[Huaisang's eyes glint with playful desire, immediately drawn to the images that rise in his head.] I would very much enjoy waking up with your cock inside me.
( Javert smiles a little, pleased to see his husband come back to himself. He likes him better like this — mischievous and eager to bring Javert out of his shell a little bit. There's no shame in desiring his husband, in pleasuring himself with his body if Huaisang desires it also. It is just another form of love, and Javert does love Huaisang very much. )
I won't.
( He promises, enveloping Huaisang in his embrace and looking down at him. )
I will take you gently, fill you with my seed and soothe you back to sleep. You do not rise as early as I, but I will remain by your side until you do.
[Huaisang grins at the promise, all warm joy and love now, worries melted away.] Good.
[He kisses Javert again, heated and yearning, but he doesn't let himself get lost in it. Grinning one more time at his husband as he pulls away, Huaisang nestles into his arms and sighs contentedly to drift off to sleep.]
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no subject
Why would anything change?
( He tries to think for a moment, his expression painful, as it always is, whenever he's trying to wrangle with uncertainty. Is this about Javert's earlier blunder? Or something else? He looks terribly upset on Huaisang's behalf, briefly forgetting the stars and the kiss in favor of reassuring his husband, pulling him close to his chest to protect him from his own worried thoughts. )
What troubles you, Huaisang? Tell me.
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[Huaisang knows he's babbling, words spilling out without any ability to order them into reasonable arguments, and he blinks rapidly, tears threatening again because he's always been a crybaby.]
I do wanna just kiss. I just need to know that everything's okay and nothing's going to change and I thought you didn't want more sex tonight and I don't want to ... I don't know ... tread thoughtlessly over your comfort just because kissing ... because ...
no subject
Nothing is going to change. All I desire is to have someone take back control over me, dominate me as I feel I deserve. That is all I want. You need not be the one to do it, and it need not happen tonight.
You made your feelings on the matter quite clear. I don't wish for our marriage become an unhappy thing for you, make you feel as if you cannot express your desires or your feelings to me. That would hurt me far more than anything. I want to give you what you desire, always. You know this.
no subject
Relaxing and tucking his head close again, Huaisang takes a deep breath.] Okay. I misunderstood.
[Closing his eyes, Huaisang just lets himself be held and soothed, letting go of his insecurities and need to please.]
no subject
Are you alright? ( He wonders, speaking low so that he doesn't startle his husband too much. ) Shall we go in and undress for bed?
no subject
Yes, please. [Taking his husband's hand as they return inside, Huaisang slips out of his boots without help and lets Javert take the cloak, shivering just a little in the cool air that came in with them.] Carry me?
no subject
He returns the kiss just as gently, taking Huaisang's hand in his as he leads him back to the house. There, he quickly discards his boots and his greatcoat, helping Huaisang out of his cloak before carrying him up the stairs. He kisses him one more time as he lays him down on the bed, undressing his husband silently before doing the same for himself.
Then he slips in on the other side of the bed, reaching for his husband and pressing his body against the thin fabric of his nightshirt, his chest sturdy and warm. )
I am sure I will be aching for you by morning.
( He murmurs, closing his eyes and settling in, wanting Huaisang to know that it is alright for him to feel this way. He isn't the only one who yearns, and this won't be the first time Javert's woken up hard, desperate for his husband even in his sleep. )
I won't care if you make a mess of the sheets.
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Reaching for him at once, Huaisang nestles close, giving him another soft kiss. He moans a little at he words, squirming as a wave of lust goes through him.] Don't deny yourself, if you do.
[Huaisang's eyes glint with playful desire, immediately drawn to the images that rise in his head.] I would very much enjoy waking up with your cock inside me.
no subject
I won't.
( He promises, enveloping Huaisang in his embrace and looking down at him. )
I will take you gently, fill you with my seed and soothe you back to sleep. You do not rise as early as I, but I will remain by your side until you do.
no subject
[He kisses Javert again, heated and yearning, but he doesn't let himself get lost in it. Grinning one more time at his husband as he pulls away, Huaisang nestles into his arms and sighs contentedly to drift off to sleep.]