[Huaisang nods at the information, though he does seem to deflate a little, sinking back on his heels and gazing down into his tea.] I suppose I didn't really expect there to be an easy solution to any of it. As much as I might have hoped for one.
There are ways to soothe the soul before it's pulled back, yes. I've done what I can, and when I go back I will continue to do what I can. I'd be grateful for lessons in every technique you're willing to teach me. [No matter how much Huaisang dreads and hates lessons and theory. He'll take any tools that he can get.]
[There's a moment of hesitation as he considers that.]
I can...try. If you like. Walk you through how I cast the spells I do, but I- [There's a flicker of vulnerability, an unsmoothed edge that seems to be catching more and more these days, but he pulls himself back together in the next blink of an eye. That turn of vulnerability, the feeling of inadequacy was not for other people to manage when Chris was doing so just fine, certainly not new company.]
My magic isn't a learning of books, as I said, I'm not certain there's much I can teach, but I'm happy to try as you like. If I come across any ideas to the problem or new solutions, you will be the first person I call.
[Huaisang nods, wincing his eyes closed.] Your magic is tied to your god. And the technique is not different. So in both cases it would ... not be of much use. Not worth the cost in time for both of us.
[He tries not to be achingly disappointed. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, after all.] Thank you, at least. It's the first time I'd encountered any necromancers who aren't ... from my world. I got excited.
[Chris nods, sympathy heavy in his expression.] I am truly sorry I don't have better news. I understand the pain of a lost sibling and I was lucky in that my world's rules are different. There is still something lost in the resurrection process, but not so violently. Death is traumatic for all involved; it's not an easy path to come back from.
[But that was the Death Cleric talking.]
If there's anything you think of we could try, I'll be happy to do so and same will go in reverse. But...if all you need's an ear for listening, I'll be happy to offer that as well. You don't need to carry it alone while you're here.
[Huaisang nods, and gives him a soft, grateful little smile.] That's kind of you. But it's ... it's a deeply private grief, for me. I'm enormously private in many things, and that most of all.
Shall we, um.
[Shaking his head to try and dispel the sorrow, Huaisang rises to his feet and gestures to welcome his guest to follow him.] Let us try to lighten the mood. I've had enough grief for one day. Shall I show you paintings, poetry, or pornography?
[Chris nods, no intention of pressing in him. He understood that just as well, talking was hardly the cleric's forte when it came to personal concerns.
He watches instead as his host stands and Chris moves to join him with a chuckle for his listed options.]
A fine array of art available! I'll admit an interest most in the paintings and pornography, my curiosity is certainly piqued.
All of the paintings in the house are mine, [Huaisang gestures at the two in the tea room, both in the Xieyi 寫意 (freehand) style, one of them a picture of clouds and mountains and the other of birds in bamboo. Leading the way through into the adjoining living room, Huaisang pauses so that he can admire that one as well.] A town in Qinghe province. Known for their mead and courtesans.
I have my video pornography in here. [The tv stand features shelves of pornographic movies, and it's the only tv that Huaisang has in the house.] The pornographic literature and art are in the library.
[Chris looks at the art with interest and clear appreciation for the elegant style of it. The town especially steals his attention, eyes darting from detail to detail.]
They're beautiful.
[He glances to the tv a moment but his attention returns to the mural.] I'll admit, we've no tv in the house I share with my dominant and I've seen next to no pornography before, Neither are things that exist back home and the habit never took.
[He turns his small, appreciative, smile back on Huaisang] That said, you've been nothing but an excellent host, if there's something to it worth seeing, I trust your taste and I've never been against trying new things.
[Huaisang nods, glad to introduce his guest to something new.] Then we'll do that. I have plenty of painted pornography as well, but the live action medium of film is a wondrous thing.
[Selecting a very artful title that focuses all on striking visuals and sweeping romance as a backdrop to the pornography, Huaisang starts it playing and then curls up on the couch, patting the spot beside him.] Shall we cuddle?
[He nods, his curiosity piqued as he watches the process of putting the video on. He turns to the couch as Huaisang moves to sit, but freezes at the suggestion.]
I...ah.
[Politeness struggles with that clawing feeling in him and a small flush of color raises to his cheeks, but more for shame than any embarrassment at the concept itself.]
I'd...love to, but I'm not good at it? It doesn't matter who with: friend or lover, this crawling sensation starts in my limbs and I get-
[He motions to his chest as though that would explain the feeling that would settle in him like a hand gripping his lungs and heart. Instead, he shakes his head.]
[Huaisang blinks in surprise, eyes a little wide with worry because he doesn't understand what part of it displeases Chris. He's lived his life feeling touch-starved. The opposite is difficult to imagine.] Oh! I'm sorry. There's no need. I do not wish you to be uncomfortable.
[He fidgets slightly, wanting to ask for further details but feeling as though it isn't his place to do so.] We can, um. I... Please make yourself comfortable however you would like.
[Chris offers a small smile like an olive branch and moves to sit near. Certainly near enough to reach out and touch, if not in constant contact.]
Will this be alright? I wouldn't mind some touching, I've no trouble with intimacy of a regular sort, it's just the full contact of cuddling and hugging and...[Why can he make words work for him when he's being politic or businesslike, but the moment it turns more inward he stumbles and chokes?] well...start here?
[He reaches out to brush the backs of his fingers to Huaisang's hand. Something a little slower to start, maybe.]
[Huaisang nods, earnest and sweet, wanting to do whatever he can to set his new acquaintance at ease.] I can understand. I have a ... a fear of enclosed spaces. And a terror of being buried alive. And a bunch of other fears but that one in particular...
[Huaisang bites his lip and looks down, brow furrowed, hoping that offering some of his own vulnerability will help set Chris at ease.] It leaves me frozen and helpless, even when I know logically that it's just an elevator, I've been in lots of elevators by now, I can get out again as soon as the doors open and even if it gets stuck--[His voice cracks on a squeak and he abandons that train of thought.] It'll be okay. I know it's irrational but there's nothing I can do about that.
[Offering a shy, hopeful smile, Huaisang stretches out his hand a little to caress Chris' fingers in return.] Whatever you're comfortable with is fine. You don't have to explain. But if you want to talk, I'd be happy to listen.
[It's more than he'd have felt right asking for, that show of vulnerability. He knows there's no obligation to do the same, certainly, but...there's no reason not to. Not when his reasons for being skittish feel tame in comparison. He has very few things that could put such fear into his voice as in Huaisang's, but what could was likely the source of a lot of his hangups.
He turns his hand to catch those fingers in his own.]
It's a silly thing. If you'd offered to simply climb in my lap and kiss, I'd not hesitate. It's something fun, something and someone to concentrate on. Hands held, cuddling, hugging, leaves my mind idle and begins to set a discomfort in me. Similar, maybe, to walking into an elevator. I know I am not trapped, I know the person I am with doesn't wish to trap me, and yet...
[He shakes his head, his smile self-effacing.] I don't like a lack of control and that feeds into plenty of things, including a lack of control over my freedom. Being trapped -caged- puts a stumble in my breath and heart I've no way to fix.
Unfortunately, even my nearest and dearest suffer for it, but I've found those I'm closest to are easier to try for and, if they need it, I'll not hesitate...otherwise, it starts in quick.
[Listening and nodding as Chris speaks, Huaisang gives Chris's fingers a gentle squeeze, but he's very careful not to do anything to tangle their fingers together, keeping his hand loose and open.] Climbing into your lap and kissing does sound fun.
[He grins a little at the suggestion, playfulness quick to reemerge even after such serious and upsetting conversations as the two of them have been having. The movie on in the background is lovely, but real people are always more interesting, and Huaisang's glad for the possibility of soothing their emotions with a bit of fun.]
[Huaisang grins at all the praise, moving to straddle Chris' lap and resting light hands against his chest as he leans in for a kiss. He doesn't want to make Chris uncomfortable, but he does want to touch. His hands fist lightly in Chris' shirt as he does his best to keep them from winding around his lover's neck the way he usually would. His kiss is soft and sweet at first, tentative, wanting to get a sense of Chris and his comfort levels.]
[His hands fall to the other man's hips automatically and he leans in to meet the kiss with enthusiastic interest. This is easy, this is something and someone to focus on that isn't his own idiosyncrasies. The weight of Huaisang in his lap doesn't feel confining, it's enjoyable like this.
His left hand slides up a bit, just a simple touch over his side and ribs for now, still largely respectful and not pressing for anything more than the offer of contact until Chris knows if it's wanted.
The kiss itself is confident and firm, a gentle movement of lips that shifts a bit as he tongue seeks entrance to delve and explore his companion's taste.]
[Huaisang makes soft, appreciative noises as they kiss, growing steadily louder as Chris pushes forward. His lips part willingly, his own tongue flicking at Chris' to tease and invite and then ducking back into his mouth, luring Chris to pursue.
Melting increasingly into the kiss, Huaisang's hands slide up to Chris's shoulders, hips sliding a little closer to press their torsos together. He's hardening quickly as they kiss, desire rising, and he starts to tug at Chris's shirt, fingers wandering back down as he starts tugging Chris's shirt free of his waistband.]
[Huaisang isn't particularly heavy and bandy muscle in his chest, abdomen and shoulders is certainly enough to sit up further, his hands bracing on the other man to keep him close as he does. Even if it required a bit of a magical boost, he could likely pick him up. A tempting thought, maybe for later.
For now, he sacrifices the hold he has to work the fastenings of his vest and shuck it off his shoulders so it's no longer in the way when it's time for his shirt to meet a similar fate.
Once his hands are free again, they return to Huaisang's sides and trail up to his chest. With more than a little reluctance, he pulls back far enough to smile against his companion's lips.]
May I ask you show me how to undress you further? I would like to see your lovely skin, but not at the sacrifice of your outfit.
[That could also be a fun game at times, but the fabric was too rich to suffer a harsh fate from ignorant fingers instead of intention.]
[Nodding as he licks his lips and sits back, Huaisang sheds his mantle first, folding it deftly and putting it aside. Then he draws his fingers up his own side, stopping at the subtle tie fastening the garment together beneath one arm. He releases that, drawing the garment open, and then there's another garment beneath, this tie on the opposite side. Once all of that is gone, the three primary layers of his robe, Huaisang's down to a gauzy, thin pair of what looks like pajamas, again with dainty little ties to hold it all together. He settles back into Chris' lap, guiding his fingers to one of those ties in order to encourage him.] This isn't even my most complicated outfit.
[Huaisang has his full attention, both for the instruction and the careful display inherent in it. His fingers follow up where guided to carefully undo the ties.]
Perhaps one day I will have the luxury of seeing that outfit and the privilege of discovering how to remove it from you.
[He'd had practice with some especially complicated woman's clothing through the years of living at the brothel and helping out there, but rarely did men's clothing seem to have such intricacies. It was fascinating and frankly, beautiful.
As was the man revealed beneath the layers as Chris works.
Once he's able, calloused fingers graze over Huaisang's chest and he leans in to press his lips to the other man's throat.]
Am I allowed to leave a small measure of marks? I could heal them later, if you'd rather...or simply offer sweet softness, as you like.
[Huaisang laughs a little, surprised and delighted that Chris wants to learn the intricacies of his more complex wardrobe.] It's usually my hair that's complicated, not my clothing. I like both to be glamorous, of course. But modern gowns with zippers often take only one step to put on.
[There are some marks already existing, tributes from Huaisang's more possessive and demonstrative partners. Even though he heals swiftly, his partners still very much enjoy covering him with love bites anew every few days.] Yes. Go ahead. Though, as you can see, you've got a bit of competition when it comes to claiming me with marks.
['Gowns with zippers' catches in his mind, but it's easy to let go, there were plenty of men who seemed to like the feeling and look of feminine clothing and Chris' hangups had no more place in this room, especially that one. Better to offer something kinder.]
Your hair is lovely too, but I'd no sooner mess it without permission than your clothing.
[He leans in to press a few, gentle, kisses along Huaisang's neck and down to the junction at the shoulder. He kisses the skin and the other bruises there as he goes before finding a place to suck at the skin and leave his own behind. He kisses that spot as well and looks back up at his companion.]
Luckily, I've never known the taste of jealousy, but it's sure to be nowhere near as sweet as your skin.
[He kisses another mark on the other side of Huaisang's neck.]
In fact, I'd sooner leave these as silent messages to your other lovers: a quiet conversation of appreciation mapped on your body.
[Huaisang gasps with pleasure at the kiss, moaning as Chris' lips latch on to his skin to leave a mark. Desire spikes through his blood in response and he grinds forward, pressing a little closer against Chris in his yearning for more.]
What a romantic you are. [It's said admiringly: Huaisang thinks that a romantic is a wonderful thing to be.] That's a beautiful sentiment. I love it.
[Nuzzling lightly at Chris' jaw, Huaisang presses a few kisses along the side of it, so gentle as to be almost a tease.] Most of them are from my submissive Javert. Do you know him?
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There are ways to soothe the soul before it's pulled back, yes. I've done what I can, and when I go back I will continue to do what I can. I'd be grateful for lessons in every technique you're willing to teach me. [No matter how much Huaisang dreads and hates lessons and theory. He'll take any tools that he can get.]
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I can...try. If you like. Walk you through how I cast the spells I do, but I- [There's a flicker of vulnerability, an unsmoothed edge that seems to be catching more and more these days, but he pulls himself back together in the next blink of an eye. That turn of vulnerability, the feeling of inadequacy was not for other people to manage when Chris was doing so just fine, certainly not new company.]
My magic isn't a learning of books, as I said, I'm not certain there's much I can teach, but I'm happy to try as you like. If I come across any ideas to the problem or new solutions, you will be the first person I call.
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[He tries not to be achingly disappointed. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, after all.] Thank you, at least. It's the first time I'd encountered any necromancers who aren't ... from my world. I got excited.
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[But that was the Death Cleric talking.]
If there's anything you think of we could try, I'll be happy to do so and same will go in reverse. But...if all you need's an ear for listening, I'll be happy to offer that as well. You don't need to carry it alone while you're here.
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Shall we, um.
[Shaking his head to try and dispel the sorrow, Huaisang rises to his feet and gestures to welcome his guest to follow him.] Let us try to lighten the mood. I've had enough grief for one day. Shall I show you paintings, poetry, or pornography?
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He watches instead as his host stands and Chris moves to join him with a chuckle for his listed options.]
A fine array of art available! I'll admit an interest most in the paintings and pornography, my curiosity is certainly piqued.
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I have my video pornography in here. [The tv stand features shelves of pornographic movies, and it's the only tv that Huaisang has in the house.] The pornographic literature and art are in the library.
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They're beautiful.
[He glances to the tv a moment but his attention returns to the mural.] I'll admit, we've no tv in the house I share with my dominant and I've seen next to no pornography before, Neither are things that exist back home and the habit never took.
[He turns his small, appreciative, smile back on Huaisang] That said, you've been nothing but an excellent host, if there's something to it worth seeing, I trust your taste and I've never been against trying new things.
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[Selecting a very artful title that focuses all on striking visuals and sweeping romance as a backdrop to the pornography, Huaisang starts it playing and then curls up on the couch, patting the spot beside him.] Shall we cuddle?
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I...ah.
[Politeness struggles with that clawing feeling in him and a small flush of color raises to his cheeks, but more for shame than any embarrassment at the concept itself.]
I'd...love to, but I'm not good at it? It doesn't matter who with: friend or lover, this crawling sensation starts in my limbs and I get-
[He motions to his chest as though that would explain the feeling that would settle in him like a hand gripping his lungs and heart. Instead, he shakes his head.]
Don't mind it. Respectfully, I ought decline.
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[He fidgets slightly, wanting to ask for further details but feeling as though it isn't his place to do so.] We can, um. I... Please make yourself comfortable however you would like.
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Will this be alright? I wouldn't mind some touching, I've no trouble with intimacy of a regular sort, it's just the full contact of cuddling and hugging and...[Why can he make words work for him when he's being politic or businesslike, but the moment it turns more inward he stumbles and chokes?] well...start here?
[He reaches out to brush the backs of his fingers to Huaisang's hand. Something a little slower to start, maybe.]
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[Huaisang bites his lip and looks down, brow furrowed, hoping that offering some of his own vulnerability will help set Chris at ease.] It leaves me frozen and helpless, even when I know logically that it's just an elevator, I've been in lots of elevators by now, I can get out again as soon as the doors open and even if it gets stuck--[His voice cracks on a squeak and he abandons that train of thought.] It'll be okay. I know it's irrational but there's nothing I can do about that.
[Offering a shy, hopeful smile, Huaisang stretches out his hand a little to caress Chris' fingers in return.] Whatever you're comfortable with is fine. You don't have to explain. But if you want to talk, I'd be happy to listen.
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He turns his hand to catch those fingers in his own.]
It's a silly thing. If you'd offered to simply climb in my lap and kiss, I'd not hesitate. It's something fun, something and someone to concentrate on. Hands held, cuddling, hugging, leaves my mind idle and begins to set a discomfort in me. Similar, maybe, to walking into an elevator. I know I am not trapped, I know the person I am with doesn't wish to trap me, and yet...
[He shakes his head, his smile self-effacing.] I don't like a lack of control and that feeds into plenty of things, including a lack of control over my freedom. Being trapped -caged- puts a stumble in my breath and heart I've no way to fix.
Unfortunately, even my nearest and dearest suffer for it, but I've found those I'm closest to are easier to try for and, if they need it, I'll not hesitate...otherwise, it starts in quick.
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[He grins a little at the suggestion, playfulness quick to reemerge even after such serious and upsetting conversations as the two of them have been having. The movie on in the background is lovely, but real people are always more interesting, and Huaisang's glad for the possibility of soothing their emotions with a bit of fun.]
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The invitation is certainly open. You've been nothing but gracious and your patience is appreciated.
[He presses a brief kiss to Huaisang's hand and knuckles, then lowers it again to meet his eye.]
I'd be so lucky to have the attention of someone so lovely as well.
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His left hand slides up a bit, just a simple touch over his side and ribs for now, still largely respectful and not pressing for anything more than the offer of contact until Chris knows if it's wanted.
The kiss itself is confident and firm, a gentle movement of lips that shifts a bit as he tongue seeks entrance to delve and explore his companion's taste.]
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Melting increasingly into the kiss, Huaisang's hands slide up to Chris's shoulders, hips sliding a little closer to press their torsos together. He's hardening quickly as they kiss, desire rising, and he starts to tug at Chris's shirt, fingers wandering back down as he starts tugging Chris's shirt free of his waistband.]
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For now, he sacrifices the hold he has to work the fastenings of his vest and shuck it off his shoulders so it's no longer in the way when it's time for his shirt to meet a similar fate.
Once his hands are free again, they return to Huaisang's sides and trail up to his chest. With more than a little reluctance, he pulls back far enough to smile against his companion's lips.]
May I ask you show me how to undress you further? I would like to see your lovely skin, but not at the sacrifice of your outfit.
[That could also be a fun game at times, but the fabric was too rich to suffer a harsh fate from ignorant fingers instead of intention.]
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Perhaps one day I will have the luxury of seeing that outfit and the privilege of discovering how to remove it from you.
[He'd had practice with some especially complicated woman's clothing through the years of living at the brothel and helping out there, but rarely did men's clothing seem to have such intricacies. It was fascinating and frankly, beautiful.
As was the man revealed beneath the layers as Chris works.
Once he's able, calloused fingers graze over Huaisang's chest and he leans in to press his lips to the other man's throat.]
Am I allowed to leave a small measure of marks? I could heal them later, if you'd rather...or simply offer sweet softness, as you like.
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[There are some marks already existing, tributes from Huaisang's more possessive and demonstrative partners. Even though he heals swiftly, his partners still very much enjoy covering him with love bites anew every few days.] Yes. Go ahead. Though, as you can see, you've got a bit of competition when it comes to claiming me with marks.
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Your hair is lovely too, but I'd no sooner mess it without permission than your clothing.
[He leans in to press a few, gentle, kisses along Huaisang's neck and down to the junction at the shoulder. He kisses the skin and the other bruises there as he goes before finding a place to suck at the skin and leave his own behind. He kisses that spot as well and looks back up at his companion.]
Luckily, I've never known the taste of jealousy, but it's sure to be nowhere near as sweet as your skin.
[He kisses another mark on the other side of Huaisang's neck.]
In fact, I'd sooner leave these as silent messages to your other lovers: a quiet conversation of appreciation mapped on your body.
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What a romantic you are. [It's said admiringly: Huaisang thinks that a romantic is a wonderful thing to be.] That's a beautiful sentiment. I love it.
[Nuzzling lightly at Chris' jaw, Huaisang presses a few kisses along the side of it, so gentle as to be almost a tease.] Most of them are from my submissive Javert. Do you know him?
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