On and off. I did my honest best to explain to him to appeal of eating ass, but he wasn't having it. The tone was very "live and let live", though, no pressure, no hard feelings. Gave him a real answer, at least.
And he tried to tease me, over my finder post. In the process, we found some common ground. We both hate the English.
[He saw the thread in regards to Javert's unintended ass-eating announcement, but there was one on Jack's finder? Please hold while he scampers off to read that. So thoughtful that it's not even private. While he could and would just help himself to looking through his husband's messages (openly and reciprocated), this is much more convenient.]
I sincerely appreciate your efforts on the topic of eating ass. His one flaw, truly.
[Huaisang is entirely unclear on what the British or the English are and what the distinction is between them, but he's glad for the common ground.] Aww he's even flirting with you.
[You know. Javert flirtation. When you exist, you're a man within the scope he finds attractive, and he doesn't feel actively hostile toward you. You can tell because he tries to make truly terrible jokes that fall so flat they just sound like particularly obtuse observations.]
Yes, it starts after he calls you 'austere'. It's not very strong flirting, he's still not sure that he likes you, but it seems possible that he doesn't dislike you.
Which is really quite high esteem, as Javert goes. Very close friends sometimes get above Not Disliked into the high mark of Reasonably Tolerable.
It's one reason among many, but yes. Someone so gruff, with such a hard exterior, who keeps even his trusted friends at a reserved distance, but for me alone he is soft and adoring. It makes me feel very, very special, when earning even grudging esteem from him is a difficult thing for ... everyone. Everyone except me.
[Huaisang had him won over on the spot--even if Huaisang hadn't realized the depth of the effect he'd had for some months afterward. But Huaisang has a gift for such things, a track record of securing trust and loyalty within minutes from people who habitually kept the world at arm's length.]
[ Looks at Charles...and Anne...and Irving too, while we're at it, not gruff but certainly high-strung and hard for most to impress. Alright. Something about it makes sense... ]
I can see it. I'm often drawn to people others find difficult, as you've noted before.
He thinks that you disrespected me, and him, and our marriage, or at least two out of three, and those are things he cannot tolerate. I'm not certain enough that you didn't, even if you didn't mean to.
If you want to make any progress with him, you'll need to demonstrate at least a grudging respect for all three.
I do absolutely believe that it wasn't your intention. From what relatively little acquaintance we have, I've seen that you like smoothing over feathers and getting people to cooperate with you and each other. It's what makes you so good with your complicated flock.
But Javert puts enormous importance on sincerity. You can be gallant as you like all day long, but until you genuinely feel respect for him, you'll never make any progress.
I don’t believe I know him well enough yet to feel much more than neutral, in either direction.
But I respect the awareness, as a former lawman, to be remorseful of his actions. Every one I’ve ever met has been too enthralled by that little slice of power to actually consider the people that they wield it over. It’s interesting, to say the least.
There you go. That's more than enough. He's very much trying to come to terms with that, and he's still mostly lost. He feels that the harm he caused to the world can never be atoned for, and he wants to be punished for it.
I thought he wanted nothing more to do with you, so it's certainly intriguing that he's been taking more interest in you, including starting interactions with you now. He started off trying to goad you. He wants your attention, perhaps even your ire. One or the other, I think. He either wants you to hate him and denounce him as irredeemable, or he wants ... your attention in more complicated ways. Which would certainly be healthier, and could be very beneficial.
He might be interested in the wax, from your list, and he absolutely would be interested in serving as a cockwarmer. If you can respect him as a man who wants to atone and yet ... command and degrade the lawman a bit to provide some of the catharsis he needs ... well. You'd certainly have no further trouble from him. And he does so very much love to obey. Try some of that corruption kink you mentioned to him. Just remember the respect and atonement as the safety buffers that he needs and you'll do fine.
I know you did just tell me that you're looking to avoid dalliances, but ... when and if and to whatever extent that information is helpful to you, please enjoy.
He's made no secret of that. Over text or at the Halloween party.
It's certainly food for thought, and I thank you for it. I'm not opposed to building a bridge. If it's meant to get there, I'll let it do so naturally.
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I think your man is coming around on me.
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Oh? Tell me more. Have you two been chatting?
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I did my honest best to explain to him to appeal of eating ass, but he wasn't having it. The tone was very "live and let live", though, no pressure, no hard feelings. Gave him a real answer, at least.
And he tried to tease me, over my finder post. In the process, we found some common ground. We both hate the English.
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I sincerely appreciate your efforts on the topic of eating ass. His one flaw, truly.
[Huaisang is entirely unclear on what the British or the English are and what the distinction is between them, but he's glad for the common ground.] Aww he's even flirting with you.
[You know. Javert flirtation. When you exist, you're a man within the scope he finds attractive, and he doesn't feel actively hostile toward you. You can tell because he tries to make truly terrible jokes that fall so flat they just sound like particularly obtuse observations.]
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[ Jack would argue crippling self-loathing is a bigger flaw, but it's not his business, is it? ]
Is that what he's doing?
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Yes, it starts after he calls you 'austere'. It's not very strong flirting, he's still not sure that he likes you, but it seems possible that he doesn't dislike you.
Which is really quite high esteem, as Javert goes. Very close friends sometimes get above Not Disliked into the high mark of Reasonably Tolerable.
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You make "not outright hated" sound like a high mark to strive for. Is that why you like him? The thrill of breaking through the defenses?
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[Huaisang had him won over on the spot--even if Huaisang hadn't realized the depth of the effect he'd had for some months afterward. But Huaisang has a gift for such things, a track record of securing trust and loyalty within minutes from people who habitually kept the world at arm's length.]
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I can see it. I'm often drawn to people others find difficult, as you've noted before.
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He thinks that you disrespected me, and him, and our marriage, or at least two out of three, and those are things he cannot tolerate. I'm not certain enough that you didn't, even if you didn't mean to.
If you want to make any progress with him, you'll need to demonstrate at least a grudging respect for all three.
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I’m sorry that I made either of you feel disrespected. I hope you can believe that it wasn’t my intention.
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But Javert puts enormous importance on sincerity. You can be gallant as you like all day long, but until you genuinely feel respect for him, you'll never make any progress.
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I don’t believe I know him well enough yet to feel much more than neutral, in either direction.
But I respect the awareness, as a former lawman, to be remorseful of his actions. Every one I’ve ever met has been too enthralled by that little slice of power to actually consider the people that they wield it over. It’s interesting, to say the least.
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I thought he wanted nothing more to do with you, so it's certainly intriguing that he's been taking more interest in you, including starting interactions with you now. He started off trying to goad you. He wants your attention, perhaps even your ire. One or the other, I think. He either wants you to hate him and denounce him as irredeemable, or he wants ... your attention in more complicated ways. Which would certainly be healthier, and could be very beneficial.
He might be interested in the wax, from your list, and he absolutely would be interested in serving as a cockwarmer. If you can respect him as a man who wants to atone and yet ... command and degrade the lawman a bit to provide some of the catharsis he needs ... well. You'd certainly have no further trouble from him. And he does so very much love to obey. Try some of that corruption kink you mentioned to him. Just remember the respect and atonement as the safety buffers that he needs and you'll do fine.
I know you did just tell me that you're looking to avoid dalliances, but ... when and if and to whatever extent that information is helpful to you, please enjoy.
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It's certainly food for thought, and I thank you for it. I'm not opposed to building a bridge. If it's meant to get there, I'll let it do so naturally.
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