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[fanoperator]

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[fanoperator]

It's not a problem. You said you're not jealous of me with Xingchen, and that's all there's going to be, so there's no reason for you to be jealous. [Huaisang kisses that heated blush, nuzzling at him.]

I trust you. With my safety and my feelings both. I'm sorry I get insecure sometimes.

[cultivatingsin]

No... That's...

It's different. He needs an A-Sang almost as much as I do.

[He chuckles breathlessly, capturing Huaisang's lips for a lingering kiss.]

What do you think about that makes you insecure? We can talk about it. That might help.

[fanoperator]

[Huaisang blushes at the phrasing and the way that Xue Yang reiterates that they both need someone like him in their lives. He returns the kiss, needing the reassurance of it.]

I... I feel like I'm going to be a bother. Like I'm only a nuisance or burden. Even if I'm amusing or pleasant sometimes, being stuck with me, you'll... Why would you want me when you can have him? Why would he want me when he can have you? I should just... get out of your way.

[cultivatingsin]

[In one smooth motion, he pins Huaisang to the bed, trapping him between his thighs. Considering how little he is wearing, the movement more or less exposes every inch of him. Sorry not sorry.]

Did your brother make you feel like this? [He gives him a stern look before softening and nuzzling over Huaisang's face.] You're generous, you're kind, you're funny and braver than you give yourself credit for, A-Sang. Who would give me a chance? But you did and you opened yourself to Xingchen...

[He touches Huaisang's lips.]

If you had been around before, maybe things would've gone better.

[fanoperator]

[Huaisang gasps as he's pinned down, glancing over at Xingchen worriedly to see if they're going to wake him, then returning his attention to Xue Yang.] Don't... don't speak ill of my brother.

[As much as he loves Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen, he knows very much that no one will ever come close to Nie Mingjue in his heart.] Not him. Everyone else. Either I was just my status, or I was entertaining for a while and then a burden to be left behind.

[cultivatingsin]

I didn't know him well besides him throwing his sword at my face.

[Not that he hadn't deserved it, mind you. And then he had been ordered to chop off his head, but that doesn't need to be said.

Xue Yang redirects Huaisang's attention back to him with a hand on his chin.]

Sorry, you're stuck with me. For as long as you can stand and even if you reach a point where I anger or frustrate you, I will still love you.

[Because he is that type of person - affection starved and unafraid to hang on.]

I don't care about your status and you don't have to entertain me. I'm happy falling asleep beside you.

[fanoperator]

[Huaisang is so touched by his sweetness and loyalty. He smiles softly, yearning but still a little sad. His thumb traces Xue Yang's lower lip as he turns over his words in his mind, then his lips suddenly quirk with a smile.] How could I be angry or frustrated with you when you've always been so very good at doing as I ask?

[Huaisang does enjoy that. He loves how Xue Yang is good at throwing around physical dominance, but it's Huaisang who likes giving commands and having them obeyed.]

[cultivatingsin]

Mm it's a habit now, but even if it wasn't, I would do what you ask of me.

[He parts his lips against the thumb and sucks on the finger seductively. Huaisang is sweet - he loves that about him - but he isn't blinded to the fact that he is also cunning. Nie Mingjue had the deep morality and the strength, but Nie Huaisang has the sharp mind and ability to act very well.]

[fanoperator]

[Huaisang smiles at the sucking on his finger, admiring how Xue Yang looks when he's being wickedly seductive, and for a moment he's simply lost in affection adn desire.

But then a thought crosses his mind and his brow furrows a little, frown returning.]

A-Yang? [His voice wavers a little, hesitant.] I... I need to know very specifically what you're okay with. I... made out with Wei Wuxian for a bit when I first arrived here. Fully in his lap kissing. Are kisses okay?

[cultivatingsin]

[Can he blame Huaisang for kissing Wei Wuxian? Hardly. He has had a crush on the man since he first heard about the dreaded Yiling Patriarch. All the same, he grazes Huaisang's thumb with his teeth, letting him feel the sharpness of his incisors.]

Would you be okay if I kissed someone else? Hanguang-Jun? Wuxian? Someone you don't know?

[fanoperator]

Of course. [Huaisang nods immediately, completely calm about the prospect. He's insecure about his lovers not wanting him any more, but he likes the idea of his lovers with other people. He has no jealousy in his nature, and the thought of Xue Yang kissing Wei Wuxian is hot. He wiggles slightly in Xue Yang's arms, eyes darkening with lust.] Especially if I can watch. But even if I can't. I don't mind at all.

[cultivatingsin]

[His brows rise and he leans in, kissing Huaisang lightly, teasingly.]

So I get worked up with someone else and climb into your bed. [He cocks his head, snorting.] Kissing is fine, I guess. But leave the sex for me or Daozhang.

[fanoperator]

[Huaisang giggles delightedly, returning the kisses despite his laughter.]

All right. [He can live with those terms, and he's glad to have the clear specification for what's allowed.] Fortunately you're both very good at giving me lots and lots of orgasms.

[cultivatingsin]

I like giving you orgasms. [Xue Yang snuggles against him, breathing in his scent and curling his arms around him.] I like being with you, A-Sang. I don't want to lose you.

[fanoperator]

You won't lose me. Being with you makes me so happy. [Huaisang snuggles against him in return, cozy against their sleeping lover's side. Infatuated, Huaisang draws him into a sweet, lingering kiss, happy to just lie here and make out with him for hours.]

[cultivatingsin]

[Making someone happy is new and wonderful. Xue Yang moans quietly, kissing Huaisang tenderly, slowly, tasting his lips until his head feels like it is spinning.]

SangSang, I need you. [The honesty comes from his heart and he bites his lip, feeling shy.]

[fanoperator]

You have me. [Huaisang grins shyly, just a little bit cheeky, and kisses the tip of Xue Yang's nose.] Or did you mean you need to be inside me?

[cultivatingsin]

[He flushes and shakes his head, choking on a small laugh.]

I meant us being together. I need you in my life. [However...] If we're quiet, we might not wake Daozhang.

[fanoperator]

I need you, too. [Huaisang smiles, glad to have made his lover laugh.] In my life. As my lover. Also inside me right now.

[Huaisang is terrible at keeping quiet during sex, but he will try his best. And if they do wake Xingchen, he can simply watch or join in, whatever he likes.]

[cultivatingsin]

[He draws Huaisang into a loving kiss, crawling over him as carefully as possible. If Xingchen wakes up, the more the merrier! But he deserves his sleep just as much as Huaisang deserves his love. Xue Yang runs his hands over his lover's soft skin, smiling like he has been given a wonderful present.]

You're so pretty, A-Sang.

[fanoperator]

[Huaisang spreads his legs, inviting Xue Yang between them. He sighs with pleasure into the kiss, reaching up to wind his arms around Xue Yang's neck.]

You're so handsome, A-Yang.

[Huaisang grins at him, happy to be able to flirt.]

[cultivatingsin]

[He looks gleeful, tucking himself between Huaisang's thighs, his hands resting on them. The hold brings their faces close and he tugs his lover's lips between his teeth.]

Have you always thought that? Or was I really scary before?

[fanoperator]

I've always thought that! Before you were just handsome and scary.

[His expression faltered a bit, turning slightly conflicted.] When I saw you at the Chang clan's residence... You were so frightening. But you were handsome, too. Charming. Though you didn't even look at me.

[Or if he had, Huaisang hadn't noticed. There were so many other people, so many things happening. Huaisang's attention had been distracted.]

[cultivatingsin]

I noticed you. [His voice dips and he winds Huaisang's hair around his fingers.] I regretted being all tied up! I wanted to get a feel of you.

[Xue Yang pouts and huffs.]

I did look at you. You just didn't see me.

Almost like I didn't matter.

[fanoperator]

Did you look at me? [Huaisang's smile flickers briefly, there for a moment and then gone.]

You didn't matter then, A-Yang. Whoever you might be as a person, it was wholly overshadowed by what you'd done. Reputation is larger than us, A-Yang. It can be a wall that keeps anyone from seeing what's within.

Sometimes I still think of that courtyard. Those bodies. The things you did to them. The looks of terror on their dead faces.

[A risky conversation to be having with Xue Yang, he knows. Part of him can't seem to help it. Part of him wants to be honest. He's still terrified of what Xue Yang has done and is capable of doing. Part of him wants to test Xue Yang, to see if he really will stay gentle as a kitten when Huaisang reminds him of his crimes.]