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[fanoperator]

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[buttbaby]

Maybe you've got a point.

It just feels weird, fucking someone who dislikes you.

[fanoperator]

Well, we certainly don't need to fuck again.

[buttbaby]

So you still dislike me?

[fanoperator]

Hm. Yes. 'Sweet' has gotten outweighed again by 'pushy' and 'demanding'.

But sure, if you want to keep going. I originally disliked you because you told me your hobby is mugging people if they act in a way that makes them a 'bad guy', which behaviors include, ironically, mugging people. I disapprove of your arbitrary justice. I dislike that you've given yourself the authority to convict and punish random strangers. Who, further ironically, you certainly aren't seeing as 'full people' before you decide to assault and rob them.

[buttbaby]

Hey, I'm allowed to be a hypocrite. Everyone does it!

[fanoperator]

Absolutely true on both counts.

But it's the beating people up for your hypocrisy that I really don't like. If you want to beat people up for a hobby, go to a boxing gym. If you want to feel morally superior to other people, join a church.

Beating people up on the street in order to feel morally superior is just despicable.

[buttbaby]

I don't beat people up in street to feel morally superior. Not anymore. I only intervene when somebody's in danger: that's how I met Hands. He was getting mugged.

And I only took their money when I was new and didn't have any, but you're right, that was wrong.

[Just, an acceptable wrong, as far as he's concerned.]

[fanoperator]

I imagine Hands is paying you well.

So it's ... no longer a hobby? The beating or the robbing?

[buttbaby]

Nope.

[fanoperator]

Glad to hear it.

[buttbaby]

I was kind of a piece of shit for a long time.

I'm trying not to be, now.

[fanoperator]

what inspired the change?

[buttbaby]

I killed someone I shouldn't have. Got incapacitated for five months. My life got a giant overhaul.

[fanoperator]

when we first met, why did you talk about all that like it was current? why was that one of the first things you wanted me to know about you, this version of you that you don’t want to be anymore?

[buttbaby]

Bad habit? And also I'm pretty bad at not thinking before I speak sometimes.

[fanoperator]

Ok. Well. Maybe if you want me to not dislike you, we could try again with who you really are. Or who you want to be.

[buttbaby]

I'm Chris Smith, and I'm kind of a fuckup. I want to be a more gentle and open person.

[fanoperator]

ok come over and we’ll drink and start again

[buttbaby]

Now?

[fanoperator]

now

[buttbaby]

'kay.

[And he's knocking at Huaisang's door twenty-five minutes later. Not needy at all.]

[fanoperator]

[Huaisang opens the door and gestures to him to come in and to head over to the parlor again. He's dressed in an embroidered blouse and slacks, which as casual as he ever gets.

Pouring for them both, Huaisang hands him a glass of brandy and then goes to sit on the couch, patting the spot next to him to invite Chris to sit nearby.]

[buttbaby]

[Chris sits down, feelings a bit shaky after this weird-ass phone conversation that they've had. He's feeling a lot more exposed in person.

He takes the brandy and offers Huaisang a quick smile, trying not to look completely unsure of himself and probably falling flat on his ass in that attempt.]

Hey.

[fanoperator]

Hey. [Huaisang's voice is gentler now, and he gives an encouraging nod.] I think it's good that you want to be a better person. I'd like to hear more about that. Tell me more about the person you want to be.

[buttbaby]

You ever feel like you've lost your way? Like you're barely even wearing your own skin anymore.

It's... kind of how I've been for most of my life. Acting tough because that's what my dad wanted me to be and I was trying so hard to impress him.

But I think I'm capable of being more than that. That there's a person in there my dad couldn't completely choke off. Somebody who just wants to have a good time with his friends, you know?