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[fanoperator]

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[buttbaby]

[Sometime on Christmas eve, a gift is delivered to Huaisang. It's this plushie with a note:]

We started off on an awkward foot, but I hope you don't totally hate my guts. This little fox or cat(?) made me think of you. Happy holidays, Chris.

[fanoperator]

It's a fox. It's ... you can't possibly have known this, but it looks like a fox spirit that's particularly revered in my home region, which I identify with very strongly. [He knows it's possible that Chris may have seen the painting from Huaisang that hangs in Hands' home, may have noticed the signature or might have commented on it and been told by Hands that it was Huaisang's work.

But even if he'd gotten that clue, he couldn't have known about Huaisang's fox transformation, couldn't have guessed that a white or gray fox with red markings was something precious and sacred to Huaisang, something that Huaisang identified with.]

Anyway. Thank you.

I don't hate you. You haven't been cruel or done anything wrong.

We just ... seems like neither of us can open our mouth without the other one taking offense from it.

[buttbaby]

I'm glad the fox is meaningful to you. I just really liked how it looked.

I'll try to take less offense next time we meet. Just... please don't assume I'm some brainless goon, either.

[fanoperator]

[After a minute or two fighting down the first five responses that come to mind--
1. Evidence continues to suggest that you are, in fact, a brainless goon.
2. The parts of you that don't seem to be brainless goon are Uncomfortably Perceptive and I hate being Perceived.
3. You think highly of Mysterio, which suggests that you're a brainless goon with terrible taste,
4. And/or you're sexist and exploitative the way he is.
5. Even though Mr. Hands hired you, I'm pretty sure he hired you as a goon, not for your brains.
--Huaisang eventually finds something to say that he's pretty sure won't give offense: ]

Mr. Hands values you and I deeply respect his judgement.

[buttbaby]

That's diplomatic talk for me being a valuable brainless goon.

But I appreciate the attempt.

[fanoperator]

Well, the gift was very sweet, so we can add 'sweet' on there, too.

[buttbaby]

Okay. Guess I'll take sweet, valuable and brainless.

[fanoperator]

I like that as a compromise.

I won't cause any trouble for you, and I'll cooperate with you as best I can. I care very much about pleasing Mr. Hands.

[buttbaby]

So, a truce.

[fanoperator]

Yes? I'd like to think we aren't at a point of open hostilities anyway.

[buttbaby]

A truce from being dicks to one another. At least intentionally.

[fanoperator]

I didn't think we were ever intentionally being dicks to one another.

[buttbaby]

We weren't exactly acting on our better natures, either.

[fanoperator]

I don't think there's some better behaved version of me that you're going to like.

[buttbaby]

I don't dislike you, dude.

[fanoperator]

Ok, I don't think there's some better behaved version of me that won't offend you? I don't know how to phrase it. Maybe you weren't acting on your better nature, but I don't think there's a better version of me that will make things go more smoothly.

[buttbaby]

I don't get offended that easily, either. I mean, I don't love being looked down on, but this is hardly a first for me.

[fanoperator]

Okay. What would you like to happen next? Where do you want this to go?

[buttbaby]

I'd kind of like to know what your issue with me is.

[fanoperator]

Why don't you go first, then, what's your issue with me?

[buttbaby]

You think you're better than me.

[fanoperator]

Yeah. That's fair. [Huaisang's aware, to some extent, that he's got a tendency toward being elitist. And Chris' response makes it easier for him to know how to answer Chris' question in turn.] I think you're dumb, and maybe I could deal with someone who was kind and dumb, but you seem like you're both dumb and a jerk. Like people around you get hurt, either accidentally or on purpose.

Why does it annoy you so much that I think you're a dumb jerk? Is your mental image of yourself smart and kind, and you just can't let this go until I also think of you as smart and kind?

[buttbaby]

It doesn't annoy me. I know I'm kind of a dumb jerk, and people around me get hurt, but that's because of my job, not of who I am.

I've been trying to do better.

[fanoperator]

Okay. Then why is it an issue? If I think you're a dumb jerk and you know you're a dumb jerk.

One of my dearest friends is a dumb jerk. Maybe more than one, depending on how we're defining dumb and jerk.

[buttbaby]

I never said it was an issue! You just went and assumed it.